Internal and External Housekeeping
the work to do before you do the work
Sometimes we set goals for ourselves that are too ambitious. My specialty is the Overly Optimistic Timeframe, where I craft a plan in which I will satisfy multiple deadlines within days or weeks. This is a problem with planning, and can be remedied by adjusting the plan (in my case, multiplying the allotted timeframe by five or ten usually does the trick).
But there are also situations in which we set reasonable goals for ourselves, yet are still unable to meet them. If this happens habitually - for instance, you have the feeling that “nothing ever works” because whenever you set a goal for yourself you soon run out of energy and ambition - if this is the case it is probably time for some Internal and External Housekeeping.
This is a term that I recently heard in a video by Adam Enfroy, a Youtuber who talks about making an income from blogging - all the boring stuff like Search Engine Optimization that I have very little interest in, but should probably learn about. I liked the concept, and I had never heard it worded that way (which I why I am giving him a mention). Essentially, he was talking about the need to address mental and emotional issues, and to sort out your living space, before embarking on other projects.
For example: perhaps you wish to start a fitness routine, but your house is a mess and you are a habitual binge eater and a borderline alcoholic. Addressing the alcohol and the binge eating would be an important place to start, and you might need counseling or coaching or self-help books to guide and support you through the necessary work. Likewise, getting your living space clean and organized will create an external environment conducive to starting any type of new project, while the inconvenience and visual chaos of clutter will be, to some degree, a hinderance.
Or maybe you aren’t struggling with problematic habits or addictions, but you have habitual assumptions or thought patterns that tend to undermine your efforts and goals. If you suspect this to be the case, I recommend starting with self-help books, which are free at the library and not too expensive to purchase. I found You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero and The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks to be helpful - the first regarding attitudes about money, the second regarding the issue of self-limiting beliefs. They are both in the school of prosperity mindset / power of positive thinking, but even if you are skeptical about this philosophy, I think both books offer valuable insight into how our assumptions guide our behavior. In other words, they can help you get to know yourself, and maybe shift some long-held attitudes that have been getting in your way.
Another scenario: panic attacks. You go along just fine, until your body goes into full crisis mode, intermittently, without warning. This (in a similar form) has been something that I have struggled with. This is a fun one, as it wraps the physical/mental/emotional matrix into one inconvenient package. And it can certainly get in the way of your plans and goals. I have found it helpful, when experiencing these sudden body crises, to focus on what is physically happening, think into my body, and ask the organ/symptom what is wrong, and what it needs. This may sound woo, but it has been effective in calming me down, as well as teaching me a lot about the mental/emotional sources of the physical symptoms.
Regarding the External Housekeeping, I have found it to be very helpful to have set up our house in such a way that it can be cleaned quickly and easily. Once a living space is structured in this way, a daily cleaning routine becomes low-effort. I clean for half an hour each morning (and generally not on the weekends). I start by grabbing the broom and spending fifteen minutes sweeping and tidying the kitchen, dining room and living room. The other fifteen minutes I do rotating daily tasks (bathrooms, vacuuming, stovetop, etc.) This habit gives structure to my day - cleaning is not a choice, it is just what I do at a certain time - and once that daily “project” has been accomplished, it is much easier to proceed to my next self-imposed goal.
To sum it all up, I believe that when you have a hope for yourself, you are seeing what is, in fact, attainable. You hope to write a book? You are seeing yourself as an author. You hope to get fit? You are seeing yourself toned and healthy. But if you habitually run into stumbling blocks when trying to achieve those goals, that is an invitation to do the deeper work, the housekeeping that needs to happen before the rest of the goals can be met. To discover this is - in itself - a gift, because now you have the opportunity fix/heal/grow-beyond the habits and attitudes that have been standing in your way.
It’s good news! Though it does involve some work.
But the work is rewarding, as it involves learning things about yourself, and perhaps a bit of catharsis along the way. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. Therapy, coaching, rehab, a trusted friend or family member: do your research, get recommendations and don’t be afraid to be picky. Though there are some people that can waste your time and money, there are others who can truly help.
And once you do the housekeeping, you can get back to your exciting, ambitious, excellent project that has been patiently waiting for you to get yourself ready.